Starting off on the wrong foot
Starting with the Alphabet and be on time, the school bell rings at a quarter to 9. So, it goes the secondary teaching of gender. The boys in one line the girls in another. The children are lined up according to height, the boys who are taller take pleasure in their superiority of the shorter other boys, while in the girls’ line, the same plea goes rampant throughout their minds; please do not let me be the tallest girl. In the boys minds the tallest is akin to a Hercules persona, while girls believe the taller she is the more masculine and unattractive she appears. Women and gentlemen the first non-verbal communication lesson is taught and comprehended by all.
His Word Against Hers
A trip to Home Depot construction store, a great place to pick up a guy that has a workable skill and a 70% percent chance of fitting a traditional male gender role. If one were to search the correct aisles: (plumbing, roofing, and maybe flooring on a Tuesday) ;until the liberal women got a hold of it, and found it insulting for the male gender to assume females needed help in a construction store. Now a female can walk around Home Depot until her “Fitbit” cries for mercy, it will be 1: 67 chances that a male will ask her if she needed help without being on the offense. The “Me Too” era is real. However, one must give Women Lib their due, the revolution was televised, retweeted, Instagram, Snapchatted and aunties seen it on Facebook.
A Home Depot Outing
Do men and women tend to follow traditional expectations for nonverbal communications? Let’s see if the books were correct. We will start with the employees, in the book Human relations: Principles and Practices, Home Depot address its employees in Non-Verbal communications. Home Depot trains its employees in “gender free” communications methods. Eye contact in North America, must be made 60 to 70 percent of the time in alternate to continuous eye contract which strangers can find impolite, aggressive, or hostile. Facial Expressions -watch facial expressions closely, for frowns, or smiles to understand the inner feeling of a customer.
Gestures, send messages of how you are reacting to customers and personal space, do not stand too close or too far away. If one is standing to close the customer may feel that their personal space is being intruded upon, if too far, the customer may feel that the sales clerk is not interested in the customer. Social distance is 4 to 12 feet used in impersonal social gathering.
In my outing, I came across one male employee who was working within the building department. His tasks were to move heavy cement related items to shelves. When passing me, he pronounces his self and I moved out of his way, however he went to great strides not to get to close to me, he stayed within that 4-12 feet distance range, so much that he bump the cart into standing shelves, then apologized to me, where I was more concerned for his safety. He made eye contact just once but spoke with a smile on his face the durations of the encounter. His vocal tone was even, and precise and told me to have a good day as he left. My meet with the female employee, her eye contact was constant with mines, her smile was more genuine as her gestures matched and she sought to finds things that we had in common such as when I used my military discount, she volunteered that she also was in the military in forming a kinship with me.
Female shoppers, like myself made short talk with each other over merchandise opinions. In keeping with stereotypes of women being more likely to touch the person they are talking, have shorter distance and speaks in soft tones. One woman, a police officer in full uniform; gun and all the trappings was purchasing a cut Christmas tree, she was having it put into her minivan as we talked. So, we have a female in what is predominantly a male profession, taking on the traditional role of female in preparing her home for the holidays, not to mention the vehicle which she was driving is commonly titled a “soccer mom” van. While her non-verbal communications were male gender, she was in an erect commanding stance, she did not keep eye contact as the other women in the store, and her speech, while friendly was more factual in tone. I would describe her demeanor as mixed gender, but I solely based on her training as a police officer, not in practice.
Male gender, as mentioned in the introduction, men are not likely to initiate a conversation with a female they do not know, this have been a new trend in Home Depot, it once was a time that I relied on a construction or plumber to see if I needed help, because I did, and it was good for my ego. I think that men or the male gender are afraid of repercussions that are seen or unseen from talking or communicating with an unknown female ; if so, that is a sad commentary on our current times. However, on the observations of some of the male gender, I notice that they stood in a circular fashion as they talked in clusters, the held their tasks items in their hands as they explained to each other, what the needed.
Power grabs seems to be evident as they often interrupted each other, with what might be a better explanation or course to venture. There were not a serious of smiles among the men, unless one made a joke, which I couldn’t make out and the laugher among them were loud, depending of ethic race of the male, like the louder the laugh the more power the held, as to state that they were at ease and found the other men non-threatening.
How to marry of a 49-year-old “spinster”, teach her gender communications to increase her odds. In my outing, while observing gender non-verbal communications, I could ascertain which male I could approach by his simple body gestures, such as cross arms, meant that he was unapproachable at that time, so my odds of receiving any interaction were low. However the male gender with a smile, and arms down was open for interactions.
Female genders tell too much to each other, discretion the female gender will have regarding higher level information, however small talk if interpret one can gather all pertinent relevant personal information, which is definitely unsafe in current times, especially if we are all shopping for the same thing. HEAR ME LADIES?